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How Do You Love Me (Reimagined)

by Nicotine Dolls

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about

'How Do You Love Me' was written in about 5 minutes and as thrilling and maniacally kinetic as that can feel, it also forced me to look at what I was saying. I’ve experienced a few things in my life that have generated a constant paranoia that those around me don’t truly want to be around me. This song is what runs through my head whenever I am around or leave my friends. I go through a grocery list of my flaws, followed by the constant question of why and how they choose to love me. The song is one long crescendo musically as the lyrics deteriorate downward into a self loathing narrative.

lyrics

If I called you up at 2am and I’m feeling fucked and lonely again
I know you wouldn’t be cruel you’d just be sit there and listen
If I cried said I’m terrified
That I’m getting close to the day I’d die
You’d just shake and you’d tell me to go home

And it’s true that I’m probably not worth the battery life
Why do you still stick around or let me stay the night
I couldn’t it out if you wrote it all down
Please write down

How do you love me right now

I make all the jokes
And run from the cracks that are visible only to you react
With a long breathe and worried eyes that justify
When I haven’t heard a thing you’ve said
Cause I’ve been talking about the sounds in my head
I never asked once about you or how you’ve been

And it’s no surprise that my friends are harder and harder to come by
That look over your eyes
Shows that I’ve made it about it me like I do every time
I need to figure it out write all down so I don’t forget how

How you could love me right now
How do you love me right now
I wouldn’t love me right now
How do you love me right now

Narcissistic paranoia
That just means that I annoy ya
And the contacts on my phone are really more than I know
And the ones I want to talk to are usually busy and at home
Suicidal kamikaze becomes less charming as I’m talking
I’m trying to see why you pick up when it’s me

How do you
How do you
How do you
How do you love me right now
How do you love me right now
How do you love me

Maybe I should just stay inside
Stop calling my friends about how hard I try
Maybe that’s another reason why
I don’t understand how you let me inside

How
How do you love me
How do you love me
I want to love me
Do you love me right

If I call you up at 2am when I’m feeling fucked and lonely again
I know you wouldn’t be cruel you’d just sit there and listen

credits

released February 23, 2024

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Nicotine Dolls New York, New York

Either the loudest people at the party or in the back waiting for an excuse to leave.

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